Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
