how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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