I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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