There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
