i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
