Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
