PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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