fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
