just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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