They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
