I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
