Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
