she pinky promised me she was 18
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
be right there i have to get my cape
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
