currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
