Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
