can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
