He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize