he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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