Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
