Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
