Whod you bang
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
