Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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