is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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