Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
