you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
