Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
