The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
