My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
