Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
