My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
