ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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