last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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