so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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