remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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