How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
