i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
