it wasn't lemon gatorade
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You ruined the universe
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
