I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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