I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
