New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
