Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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