This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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