physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
