I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
