VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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