I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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