piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think my moral compass just broke
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
