he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
