It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
