I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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