New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
