I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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