dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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