He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
