She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
